Currently Listening Cursive's Domestica By Cursive The Night I Lost the Will to Fight see related

its been a couple days. actually, a lot of days. anyway, my life to this point is as follows

maumee and ceder point - ceder point itself was fun, maumee was alright, it was a really easy contest, but all of the problems and drama, plus the lack of sleep, drove me insane. i wont get into it, but it was gay. majorly. also, i left my phone charger in maumee which sucks a lot. yeah. anyway, moving on...

this week is spirit week. monday was pajama day, and i participated simply because i left after first bell, went home, and slept. plus, i wore what i wore to bed that night. yesterday was twin day, bump that, and today was class color day. which is gay. the seniors and juniors gave us pink and purple. most of the guys wouldnt wear pink, because they arnt secure with their masculinity. so, the juniors and seniors are gay. but the juniors are winning spirit week, so it kinda serves them right. but still.

thats kinda it. yeah....and whatnot

i throughly enjoy people who try to make themselves sound smarter than they really are. they make me laugh

rockstar79053: sorry about that
greenchesspiece: oh, don't be sorry
rockstar79053: i had to leave suddenly and i didnt give an explaination
rockstar79053: thats a little rude
greenchesspiece: pretty common in these parts (aim)
rockstar79053: still
rockstar79053: so again, i ask, why are you talking to me?
rockstar79053: not to be rude, but i dont know you, and i dont tie you to happy memories,
rockstar79053: i will say though
rockstar79053: that if i can find a site to host it, im going to upload your trailer and submit it to either ebaums world or funny junk
rockstar79053: its quality comedy
greenchesspiece: yes, you do know me, or perhaps the girl that once loved me, and still does, and i her, yet is one of darker principals.  Samantha Bonn.  She is tied directly to me.  However, in recollection of you knowing me, or of me, or such, despite it being enjoyable (the memories) or not, you must come to the realization, or realizations, perhaps.

And thus, in discussion of my trailer, may I defend my position that it was made with a day's footage, all actors in hot suits running hot fields with no water, yet still it is considered high quality made, despite its goofyness or poor acting, the skills that I hold in my mind are indeed - skillful.

I mean you nothing mean, nor bad, nor was I sent by Heather, or anyone against you in anyway.  I merely greeted you a good evening./
rockstar79053: 1. first of all, samantha bonn is irrelevant, because i knew of you before i tied her to you, and still, i only know of you
rockstar79053: 2. those conditions are what can make a finny piece of film
rockstar79053: and third, that still really doesnt answer why you would bother to talk to me
rockstar79053: you dont know me
rockstar79053: as far as you know, im heathers ex boyfriend
rockstar79053: what could you gain from conversing with me?>
greenchesspiece: perhaps the picture of a burning tx made me do it, and the information that you drew it.  I'd like to say that Heather is not tx, nor is it her, but rather a great collection of people, from sewers to builders to lights to sound to actors to writers to moms to dads to craftsman, and the very fact that you drew it bluntly screams at its viewer that you spent time of your life (time that could have been spent more productively) sketching a doodle that was rather morbid and offensive in other to attack, in some way, a girl that you failed to uphold any sense of dignity nor any pride or honor.  The picture, itself, and the reputation you hold with a singular individual, proves to an educated and intellectual mind that you are not a very complicated mind to code.  In my efforts to talk to you, you've proven to be fireheaded, angry, and mistrusting:  all the qualities of perhaps a mcdonalds worker, or maybe one of those brutes who seem to think that guns, pot, smoking, and fighting solve all problems.  However, upon discharging that toward you, you are currently picking this green blob of text for something to counter me, and you may reply it at your own pleasure, but know that you may win an argument, but out of stubbornness, and you may win an insult-war, but out of immaturity, and you may close this window with a smug little smile on your face, but yet many remain friends with your enemies, and you will never escape that truth that those "enemies" could have been allies, and you will be left in the cold for the dogs to chew throughout the night.
rockstar79053: i couldnt even finish reading that
rockstar79053: do you want to know why im so against tx?
rockstar79053: why im so against heather>?
rockstar79053: heather has dumped me twice for other boys
rockstar79053: and i think that grants bitterness
rockstar79053: so yes, im bitter towards her because im still mad that she dumped me not once, but twice for another boy
rockstar79053: and as far as tx, i consider that the reason that we broke up
rockstar79053: that and her mother
rockstar79053: and i know its a biased and nonsensical acusation
rockstar79053: but im over that
rockstar79053: if heather wasnt in tx, she never would have met alex or kurt, and yes she wouldnt have made the friends that shes made, but we would probably still be together
rockstar79053: but still, its more than that
rockstar79053: ever since shes joined tx
rockstar79053: shes seriously changed
rockstar79053: to put it bluntly
rockstar79053: all the people ive met from tx, with the exception of mary kate hill and kevin donahue, act like seven year olds
rockstar79053: and to get down to it
rockstar79053: i didnt draw the burning TX
rockstar79053: chris did
rockstar79053: i drew the batarang
rockstar79053: and the drill
greenchesspiece: One thing I can agree with you is that girls can definately do very unkind things, such as dumping for other guys, which is extremely uncaring (but in your case, as in any case, other circumstances are to be taken account of).  I, myself, have been mistreated by a selfish girl (not referring to heather as that, I have no experience in her dating methods outside of my friend Kurt and her), and it isn't fun.

However, you must acknowledge that hating an organization on the terms of a few people that you've met is not very dignified.  Most of the people at tx, moreso the people who count, are extremely intelligent and mature.  With Heather joining tx and changing, it's because that's what high school does to you.  It's that simple.  I had friends at the beginning of freshman year who two years later we all barely talked, and went into different clubs, and became different people - but who we become isn't necessarily a mistake, it may very well be who we were destined or meant to become.

May I finish by warning you - that you yourself were an extremely childish person in this conversation (not saying that you are, but that you acted it.)

Chris who?
rockstar79053: and cary in a sck
rockstar79053: sack
rockstar79053: campbell
greenchesspiece: hrmmm...alright
greenchesspiece: so - now what?
rockstar79053: i was only childish in my views of tx
rockstar79053: and im fully aware that i have no real reason to hate it other than bitterness and spite
rockstar79053: i realize this, you dont need to reiterate it
rockstar79053: but frankly
rockstar79053: ive coped with that, and as bitchy as it is, i have fun making very mean jokes about her because im still angry towards her
rockstar79053: but ive agreed that i wouldnt share these jokes with her
rockstar79053: and i dont
greenchesspiece: hrm..thats a bit more mature, young sir
greenchesspiece: why would chris campbell tell heather that you drew the burning tx
greenchesspiece: ?
rockstar79053: thats the point ive been trying to get across this entire time, man
rockstar79053: another example of what i stated in the beginning of the conversation
rockstar79053: hes a hypocrite who doesnt want heather to be mad at him
rockstar79053: 
greenchesspiece: i see
greenchesspiece: and what's to say that chris isn't just trying to get her mad at you?  if he is, as you say, responsible for what truly irritated her?
rockstar79053: she says she wants to be friends with me
rockstar79053: im more than willing to be friends with her, but on the other hand, im find with not being friends
rockstar79053: she knows this
rockstar79053: so her being mad at me doesnt effect me anymore
rockstar79053: you have no idea the damage she has caused to me
rockstar79053: so dont even try to say you understand
rockstar79053: dont even try to anylize me and pick me apat
rockstar79053: apart*
rockstar79053: anaylize*
rockstar79053: because you honestly have no idea
rockstar79053: about anything i felt for her during our relationship
rockstar79053: youre on the outside looking in with no clue what the hell youre seeing
greenchesspiece: When I met Sam, I was a chubby, insecure little christian boy who never thought a pretty, non-fat chick would ever like him, so when Sam liked me as a friend, I fell in love with her.  Can I emphasize "in love"?  Let's see, I was the only one who truly cared for her over anyone else, over her current bf at the time, over anyone, who made her cry and sad, I made her happy and laugh.  She loved me, but as a friend.  I wanted more with her, and she went through Sam Roden, Brent Stires, Kurt Olding, and finally back out of the st.x group and into Kings again.  Every one of those I witnessed a kiss (besides Roden), or kissing, and several times she relied on me for a ride, and I gave it, but in such I tagged along for a smooch ride.  It finally took some impatience and her uncaring ignorance that set me away from her, and in my hatred and others' she became a joke, a laughing stock, of us all.  However, the heartbreak she caused me in unexpressible, and I never loved since, because it was a huge lesson.

However, that aside, I do know nothing of YOUR experience, but I do know something of what it's like in general.
greenchesspiece: and i want the facts, not the lies, and not for heather, nor anyone - i want the story straight for my own self, no one else
rockstar79053: so youre pissy because a girl didnt like you?
rockstar79053: thats a bit self centered
greenchesspiece: well after about a year of dedication with no real attention
greenchesspiece: i gave up, moreso
greenchesspiece: we grew apart, we didn't explode apart
rockstar79053: you should have accepted the fact that she didnt like you long ago
rockstar79053: not every one you put effort into will like you
greenchesspiece: -.- she was my best friend at the time
greenchesspiece: she sat on my lap, cuddled with me, everything short of a kiss
greenchesspiece: however - i got my kiss, rather - kisses
rockstar79053: so did i
greenchesspiece: indeed
rockstar79053: its called friends with benifits
greenchesspiece: from her, but not from the nice-guy methods
greenchesspiece: >:D indeed, fwb is fun
greenchesspiece: however it is rather dangerous when not controlled
rockstar79053: especially with you have attachment issues, as you seem to have
rockstar79053: at least thats what it looks like to me, so far
greenchesspiece: first off, i've used girls to the point where they were just short of being naked - to the point where we spent hours kissing
greenchesspiece: nice guy gets you no where
greenchesspiece: ive played games where friends liked me and i chased them away and then the fun comes in earning them back
greenchesspiece: i have no need in befriending you, but i do not wish an enemy of you
rockstar79053: first of all, i have a serious problem with toying with girls emotions. if theyre just in it for the short hall, then im fine with it, but using a girl to get some is a definate ass hole move
rockstar79053: nice guy can get you everywhere, im a prime example
rockstar79053: and making someone who likes you not like you, just so you can try to get them to like you again, i dont see the fun in that
greenchesspiece: then perhaps you can see the evil in my soul
greenchesspiece: and you are not a niceguy
rockstar79053: or perhaps youre just an ass
greenchesspiece: for it gets you nowhere
greenchesspiece: and you are somewhere
rockstar79053: im a very nice guy
greenchesspiece: kid, i plan on being in the movie business, i have to be an ass
rockstar79053: so thank you for jumping the gun to judge me
rockstar79053: have fun with that
greenchesspiece: nice guys are always nice, no matter to whom
greenchesspiece: rather, i see a lot of unkindness in you
rockstar79053: call me when youre poor hungry, and realized that most people taht try to break into the movie buisness fail miserible
rockstar79053: miserably*
greenchesspiece: not with connections
greenchesspiece: nonetheless, i'll call you when you're - what?
rockstar79053: im not sure yet
rockstar79053: i havnt gotten that fa
rockstar79053: far*
greenchesspiece: i've wanted to be in film since 7th grade
rockstar79053: i know
greenchesspiece: even if i fail, i'll still be happy
greenchesspiece: that's where i succeed
rockstar79053: and thats fine
rockstar79053: just dont take it on expecting to spend your time holding hands with spielberg and lucas
greenchesspiece: i expect to have a budget of 10$
greenchesspiece: and fund everything out of my wallet
greenchesspiece: which is what im currently doing
greenchesspiece: however, have fun with your girls, they really are a waste of time, may I add
greenchesspiece: and that whole sam incident occured about 2 years ago
greenchesspiece: 1.5*
greenchesspiece: i should say
rockstar79053: 10 bucks gets you no where in hollywood
rockstar79053: why are girls a waste of my time?
greenchesspiece: spielberg and lucas started with nothing
greenchesspiece: spielberg started jobless, kid
rockstar79053: i know
rockstar79053: but how many other directors have started that way?
greenchesspiece: so dont tell me that i need a fancy school or a lucky job
rockstar79053: um you need luck
rockstar79053: period
greenchesspiece: have you conquered death?
rockstar79053: do you mean have i faced it and come out by the skin of my teeth?
greenchesspiece: no - not survived it
greenchesspiece: have you conquered it's biggest threat
greenchesspiece: the fear of it
rockstar79053: of course
rockstar79053: everyone has their time
rockstar79053: some peoples are just sooner than others
greenchesspiece: so tommorow, if you were to have a gun to your head, you'd shrug your ass off as a bullet ripped your brain into a wall?
rockstar79053: well i wouldnt sit there and let myself die
rockstar79053: id try to fight off whoever was holding the gun
rockstar79053: but if its inevitable, then its inevitable
rockstar79053: and thats that
rockstar79053: honestly it comes down to the fact that life is completly spontanious
rockstar79053: at least i think it is
rockstar79053: nothing can really be planned
greenchesspiece: i agree, but rather, i myself would rather never have been born, and cant wait until i die
greenchesspiece: however, life is a game to me, and i'd like to try my chances before i embrace it
rockstar79053: well then youre missing out on a lot, man
rockstar79053: life is the most wonderful and terrible thing all at once
greenchesspiece: would it really have mattered had i not been born?
rockstar79053: youve touched a lot of peoples lives
rockstar79053: everyone has
rockstar79053: if you were never born, they wouldnt be the way they are today
rockstar79053: just stop thinking "what if". im going to guess youll end up somewhere down the road kicking yourself for wasting so much time
greenchesspiece: and it would never have even bothered me the slightest, for i'd never have felt pain, nor joy, nor anything, for it would never even exist to me
rockstar79053: you would have never felt
greenchesspiece: moreso i got here by asking 'why'
rockstar79053: which i think, is one of the most wonderful things in the world
greenchesspiece: and thus you will continue to live, happy
rockstar79053: theres a difference between asking why and asking what if
greenchesspiece: however, life to me, is a game, and nothing can change that
greenchesspiece: for when i lose a game - that game ends
rockstar79053: oh, things can always change
greenchesspiece: asking why got me to ask 'what if'
rockstar79053: thats what i mean by life is spontanious
greenchesspiece: it's not a depressing thought
greenchesspiece: it's a fun thought
greenchesspiece: it's optimisitc
rockstar79053: honestly, your whole outlook on life can change in the blink of an eye
greenchesspiece: nothing is as important as it seems to others
greenchesspiece: it is all just fun and a game
greenchesspiece: if i fail at something - it's just a game
greenchesspiece: i can quit at any time
rockstar79053: but is it worth quitting, to miss out on everything else you could have experienced?
greenchesspiece: "life isn't a game" - yes it is, is my thought process
greenchesspiece: if a game sucks, i dont play it
greenchesspiece: and playing the whole game, if it sucks, isn't very rewarding at all
rockstar79053: youre not a very happy person
rockstar79053: the difference between life and a game
rockstar79053: you can change your life to make you happy
rockstar79053: have you ever read "The Fish Philosophy"?
greenchesspiece: i am an extremely fun and goofy and happy person, but many see my outlook on life - the core to my happiness and goofiness - as a depressing one
greenchesspiece: no - i havent
rockstar79053: i suggest taht you do
rockstar79053: im sorry that i cant tell you who wrote it, i dont remember
rockstar79053: but i think you would get a lot out of it
rockstar79053: if you really want me to, i can get the authors name tomorrow
greenchesspiece: kid -.- i am not a very good person at all
greenchesspiece: i dont appear to be a happy character
greenchesspiece: but i make others laugh and make them happy
greenchesspiece: what makes me joyous is my bleak lifestyle
greenchesspiece: im a mysterious person
greenchesspiece: *makes wavy sneaky expressions*
rockstar79053: so pretty much
rockstar79053: your sorrows your gold mine?
greenchesspiece: not quite
greenchesspiece: i dont mourn or suffer in any way
greenchesspiece: just my outlook is depressing to OTHERs
rockstar79053: im sorry
rockstar79053: but you seem really dumb
greenchesspiece: O.o
greenchesspiece: im just sadidical
greenchesspiece: i take joy in dark things
rockstar79053: thats not quite sadistic
greenchesspiece: i'd have to agree
rockstar79053: sadists take pleasure in causing others pain
greenchesspiece: i blame it all on the anal dwelling spider monkey poem i just wrote
rockstar79053: not just others being in pain
greenchesspiece: i do that tho
rockstar79053: now you jsut seem really really dumb
rockstar79053: and on another note, are you sure that its "sadidical"
rockstar79053: unless youre talking about something else
greenchesspiece: actually the spelling exited my thought at the moment
greenchesspiece: i mean sadistic
greenchesspiece: -.-
greenchesspiece: *sigh*
rockstar79053: im sure
greenchesspiece: as ive said you just wait for a singular mistake
greenchesspiece: however - i've passed up many of your own
rockstar79053: im not trying to bring you down, i was just asking
greenchesspiece: and you are not a nice guy - you lie - you are wrong - no matter which angle you look at it - nice guys are ALWAYS nice, no matter their intellect or enemies or anything, they are kind.
greenchesspiece: you are clearly not upholding that concept
rockstar79053: dude
rockstar79053: just stop while youre sucking
rockstar79053: seriously
greenchesspiece: you're pretty stupid, kid
rockstar79053: oh i am?
greenchesspiece: you should probably be angry some more at your ex, ya know, cuz it's productive and everything
rockstar79053: oh, moving on to cheap shots are we?
rockstar79053: i must say
rockstar79053: you really are as mature as you say you are
greenchesspiece: remember when i told you that i exit my self and re-adact?
greenchesspiece: adapt*
rockstar79053: yeah
greenchesspiece: i pretty much mirror people
rockstar79053: im sure
rockstar79053: because lord knows
rockstar79053: you had my character and personatily down pat long before you started talking to me
rockstar79053: honestly
greenchesspiece: i do - and i've adapted to you - i understand you and your thought process, and i can now talk on a level (or semi level) basis with you
rockstar79053: again
greenchesspiece: actually i never really paid attention to any ims i had with you
greenchesspiece: cuz i really didnt know who you were, nor did i care
rockstar79053: i restate what i said at the beginning of the conversation
rockstar79053: you try to make yourself seem smart by talking using elaborate and confusing wording
rockstar79053: therefore confusing whoever youre talking to into thinking you know what youre talking about
greenchesspiece: first off, it isnt that elaborate, nor confusing, it is the best word for the job
rockstar79053: honestly, youre a dumbass
greenchesspiece: i am not
rockstar79053: at least thats what im think
greenchesspiece: everything i've told you is true
greenchesspiece: however - i seem to suspect half the things you shared fail to be true
rockstar79053: all youre doing is trying to make yourself look better than me
rockstar79053: so just stop while youre sucking
rockstar79053: youre wasting my time
greenchesspiece: nice guy /= you
greenchesspiece: you lost your girl because you lost her feelings
rockstar79053: no
greenchesspiece: and you've been apparently giving her a hard time about it for some time
rockstar79053: i lost my girl because she found interest in someone else
greenchesspiece: no - you dumped her
greenchesspiece: and she took you back
greenchesspiece: and you blew it
greenchesspiece: and instead of accepting your mistake and moving on
greenchesspiece: you decide to waste time day in and day out complaining and worrying and griping about it
rockstar79053: like i said earlier
greenchesspiece: instead of finding a girl who actually does like you for you
greenchesspiece: rather than one who doesnt
rockstar79053: youre a little punk kid sitting behind your computer who thinks hes all high and mighty because you can make yourself sound like you have some idea of what the hell youre talking about. and because of this you take it apon yourself to try to pick my whole fucking life apart when you really have no clue
rockstar79053: you couldnever know what i felt for heather
rockstar79053: never
rockstar79053: you have her side of the relationship
rockstar79053: so to clear it up
rockstar79053: we took a break in november, got back together in december, she claimed that we never got back together because it wasnt completly definite because she didnt want blood on her hands from dumping me. alex lost interest in her, she came back to me. we dated again, she left me for kurt
rockstar79053: dont even try to being to understand what ive been through
rockstar79053: i will absolutly tear you apart

Currently Listening Third Eye Blind By Third Eye Blind see related

yeah, yeah, its been a while. well. that just means all the more the to write about. this will be done in bulleted extended notes

- sarah. one of ericas friends, we had a little thing for a little bit, but it didnt end up becoming anything and kinda crashed and burned after about 3 weeks? anyway, i already have a new homecoming date named miss julie-anne amfahr. and believe me shes quite a catch. hot friends too, which is always a plus. also shes like best friends with max which is cool, because im best friends with max, which is cool. max is one cool kid. and thats that for now

- katie v. she is a very cool girl with a very cool taste in music randomly picked out at the library. she checked out ben folds live because she had never heard of ben folds before, and i find it applause worthy because ben folds is amazing. anyway, we were supposed to hang out today but it didnt work out which is sad. we dont talk much anymore, so that will have to change

- this weekend. massilon. first traveling comp. first actual comp. which is good and bad. good because we need the experience of an actual competition, bad because its a regional. yep. sucks

- um...random? got my cast off. half the people asking about it thought i reinjured myself. bad day, but that wont get explained, its irrelevant. um...stuff, and things, and stuff, i guess. and junk too, cant leave that out. anyway, thats about it. and whatnot

have a good day

Currently Listening Meteora By Linkin Park see related

justwannabeme08: hes a loser
justwannabeme08: i read his xanga
justwannabeme08: krista has spoken **holy music**

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. i love krista. but then again, who dont?

cowchick289: mi-key...i will not be able to see you at the fire drill tomorrow...

hahahahahahaha. dude we've had like 8 fire drills already this year. its gay.

anyway, im kinda upset because i can only go to like 15 minutes of sarahs game on monday, and she cant hang out afterwards =/ hopefully we can hang out like saturday...

band kills your social life.